some spell work

[thebloodtraitor]

It had taken Sirius the better part of two days before he'd finally found a pair of cuffs tucked into the postbox of an abandoned house. It's fuzzy and pink, as promised, and Sirius holds them like a prize as a woman eyes him suspiciously and pointedly crosses the street.

After tucking the cuffs inside his jacket, Sirius heads to Dimera. There's no guarantee Kieren will be in, but it's not as though Sirius has much else to occupy his time.

He can't quite keep the grin off his face as he taps his knuckles to Kieren's door. It's the first he's been here, though Kieren had given him the address weeks ago. There's a bit of a knot in his stomach as he waits, a mix of excitement and anticipation as well as fear. Or perhaps fear isn't the right word, but Sirius isn't certain how else to describe it.

When he hears the turn of the knob, Sirius props his arm against the door jamb and quickly pulls the cuffs from his jacket with his other hand, grinning proudly as they dangle from his finger.

Comments

[roartonrisen]

"Because my brain still works," Kieren protests, giving Sirius a look that's chiding and disbelieving all at once. "I'm physically eighteen years old and I'm a virgin. Of course I want sex," he protests, shaking his head as he wonders what he'll have to do to prove it. "Just because my blood won't let me get it up doesn't mean I don't want it. I still want you, I still want it, I just can't receive, exactly."

"My brain lets me want things, lets me feel things like affection and guilt and remorse. I just can't physically feel," he says quietly.

[thebloodtraitor]

There's a certain note of upset to Kieren's tone and Sirius listens intently as he cuts off a bit of egg and scoops it up with his toast. He still feels a bit strange eating in front of Kieren, but he supposes he'll need to get accustomed to that eventually. As well as other things.

"Is it not frustrating?" he asks, as concerned as he is curious now. "If there's no level of sensation at all, do you think there might be a way of satisfying your brain, so to speak. By use of words, perhaps," he says, grinning a little then and waggling an eyebrow. "If you get my meaning."

[roartonrisen]

He stares down at his feet as he shuffles them, having thought about this plenty himself. "I suppose it wouldn't necessarily be a physical sort of relief, but more emotional. The pleasure of knowing my crush wants me back and all the anticipation and joy that goes into that moment."

He gives Sirius a longing look. "So if you don't want the serious stuff, no pun intended, maybe it's time to back out now."

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren's tone is no longer teasing and Sirius's smile falls in turn. "Well, I am quite good with the Sirius stuff," he says, trying for a joke though it falls flat given his lack of smile. He glances down at his eggs. "As for the other, well... it's certainly not that I don't want you. Perhaps I just feel ill-equipped? That seems like a poor excuse, I realize," he adds with a slight grimace, growing less hungry by the second.

"In truth, I've no idea what it is I think I'm doing," he admits, setting his plate aside, though he keeps the toast if only for something to rip at, setting another bite into his mouth. "It's not as though I'm some beacon of romance, I only know I like being around you."

[roartonrisen]

"I'm not asking for big romantic gestures," he promises, not knowing what he'd even do with them apart from get fairly embarrassed about them. "I suppose I'm just saying that if we're going to do what we are, I don't mind the physical part, but I'm going to get actual pleasure from the other stuff. Dates and hanging out. It doesn't have to be intense, but I'm gonna need more than fumbling around."

He hopes he's explained it right. "I like being around you too," he says softly.

[thebloodtraitor]

"To be honest, we haven't done much of that," Sirius replies, fidgeting with the crumbling bit of toast still left. "Fumbling about, I mean. Aside from when either or both of us have been in some way enchanted."

Cocking his head, he looks at Kieren a bit more curiously. "I'd like to continue on whatever this is. It's... I'm not daft enough to think we're only friends -- normal school experimentation and fumblings aside, I haven't often made it a habit to kiss my mates. I've always assumed there was a bit more to being someone's boyfriend is all. James certainly always made it sound that way."

[roartonrisen]

"Truthfully, I'd like to fumble and fool around a little more," Kieren confesses, seeing as there's a lot driving him towards it, not the least of which is Sirius' good looks and charm and the way he's quickly falling into a very deep level of a crush with him.

"I just want you to know that I don't want you to feel bad if I can't get anything out of this physically, I still want to do it," he promises. "Trust me, I want to."

[thebloodtraitor]

Sirius feels a strange bit of relief at that. He's always considered his sex drive fairly healthy even if events of the past few years have kept him from indulging as often as other men his age, now that he has a bit of time to actually fool around with someone else, it'd be a shame to let it go to waste.

"It still seems a bit frustrating on your end," he confesses, finishing off his last bit of toast and wiping his hands off on his trousers. "I mean, I suppose all I can do is take your word for it. Will you at least tell me when there's something I can do be doing? Whatever it might be."

[roartonrisen]

"But it's frustrating on my end and I'll tell you if it's getting too bad," Kieren feels compelled to argue, arching his eyebrow to give him a pointed look. He thinks talking isn't going to do the trick, so he leans in and puts the plate aside so he can grab Sirius by the elbow and pin him against the nearest wall for a hard kiss to prove how much he wants it.

[thebloodtraitor]

The statement hardly feels like an answer to his question, but the way Kieren so very decisively discards the plate to press Sirius up against the nearest wall clears things up. A bit.

More than a little surprised, Sirius lets out a quick laugh into the kiss, his hands falling to Kieren's sides before he quickly and rather easily melts into it.

When he pulls away moments later, he's a good deal more breathless and his lips are tingling. He licks them, his eyelids heavy as he meets Kieren's eyes. "I believe you mentioned something earlier about your hand and my trousers," he says with a faint smirk, one hand sliding higher up Kieren's side. "Is that still on the table?"

[roartonrisen]

Kier's feeling a lot more comfortable, seeing as the memory of that blood and that thumping, heavy heart-like feeling has faded so much to the past. Now, now there's just a very promising idea that the both of them can get their hands into. "If you're willing to give up the rest of your toast, then absolutely," he agrees, vaguely amused.

[thebloodtraitor]

"Hmmm, toast or handy," Sirius replies, narrowing his eyes as though quite seriously mulling it over. "Yes, very difficult choice indeed. Giving up the toast is a massive sacrifice.

He can only hold the face for so long before his lips crack into a wide grin and he slips the fingers of one hand beneath the bottom hem of Kieren's shirt, pulling him closer, lifting his other hand to draw Kieren's face in for another kiss, deeper this time, hungrier, sighing into the chill of Kieren's mouth.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren's eyes are wide with hope and promise, wrapping his arm around Sirius' back to splay his fingers there, stumbling them back towards the sofa so he can push Sirius down, pinning him there as he rises up on all fours, feeling like if his heart could beat, it would be pounding now. "I've wanted to do this for years," he confesses, lowering a shaking hand (that shouldn't be shaking) down to nudge into Sirius' trousers and pants.

[thebloodtraitor]

"Bloody hell," Sirius laughs, stumbling backward a couple paces before falling back onto the sofa, staring with wide eyes as Kieren crawls atop him. With light eyes and pale skin, he looks downright predatory, and Sirius finds it far more arousing than he might've guessed, his smile faltering only slightly at the sight.

Kieren moves quickly, shaky fingertips -- should they be shaking -- pushing past Sirius's waistband. "Ah!' he shudders, again devolving into a laugh, the he doesn't pull away. "Don't stop," he says then, just in case Kieren gets the wrong idea. "Just a bit cold. I'll get used to it."

[roartonrisen]

Kieren has, honestly, been wanting to do this for ages. He'd dreamt of it when he'd spent time with Rick, scared of what Bill would do if he found out, but he never did. And then, and then with Simon, god, had he wanted it then, too, but Simon had left him. Now there's Sirius and he's getting his chance. He slides his cool hand under Sirius' body, just to warm it up for a moment. "I have loads of practice from before I died when it comes to this," he assures him. "Don't worry."

[thebloodtraitor]

Sirius hisses softly, the sound melting into a laugh as Kieren's hand warms beneath him. And he squirms a little, anticipation mounting as he grins downs at Kieren.

"With your Rick?" he says, wondering, not for the first time, just what they'd gotten up to before everything had gone so pear-shaped. Kieren's said he hasn't done much in the way of sexual acts, but Sirius is a curious sort. He wonders if it'd be rude to ask for details. "Or do you mean on yourself? Either way," he adds with a slowly widening grin, "what a lovely thing to imagine."

[roartonrisen]

"Rick and I never even so much as kissed," Kieren says, his gut twisting with regret and love long gone. He'll never forget him, nor the way he'd wanted him, but they had never done anything because at the first sign of any kind of untoward affection, Bill Macy had banned him and Rick had run away. "Only myself," he promises, keeping his hand there until he thinks maybe it's warm.

He presses it to the skin of Sirius' hip first. "Warm enough?"

[thebloodtraitor]

"Ah," Sirius replies, realizing he's done more fooling about with mates than Kieren's ever done with anyone. Though he supposes that doesn't much matter, really. He's certainly never done anything with an undead boy.

Arching slightly, Sirius nods, an uncharacteristically nervous smile curving his lips as he reaches to brush his fingers through Kieren's hair, thumbs sweeping the tip of his eyebrows. "I do wish I'd gotten to see that," he admits, his stomach strangely aflutter with nerves and anticipation both.

[roartonrisen]

'Maybe later' is on the tip of his tongue before he remembers that no, he can't do that. He bows his head and tries to ignore the ache that comes of yet another reminder of what he can't do, but he has a task to do and he's nervous and eager for it. He moves his now-warmed hand around and slips it further into Sirius' pants, wrapping around his cock. "Tell me if this is good," he pleads. "I want to know everything, every moment."

His lashes flutter as the thumb moves close, and he can't imagine anything he wants to do more than this, right here.

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren moves slowly and carefully, warmed fingers slipping under the waistband of Sirius's pants to wrap around his cock. He's half hard already, but just that touch alone is enough to make him twitch, his breath catching high in his chest.

"Good so far," he says on a quick laugh, head tilted to watch as much as he can, though much of his view is hindered by his own trousers. He arches slightly, trying to give Kieren more room, mouth falling slack. "You can take it out if you'd like. Might like to see what your hand looks like on me."

[roartonrisen]

These are things he hasn't even considered. With those fantasies about Rick, they'd all been furtive, secretive things. He figured if they did it, it'd be in the dark or where Rick didn't have to see, so the prospect of not having to hide like that is a confusing strange thing that he's not used to. "Yeah?" he asks, doing just that as he works to nudge down his trousers, fumbling a little and trying to make it better.

"I feel like I'm just learning," he huffs out.

[thebloodtraitor]

"Yeah," Sirius echoes, lifting his hips to help Kieren nudge his trousers down further, thumb hooking in the waistband of his pants as well. He has to bite back a groan of relief as he settles, Kieren's hand still wrapped tight around him and he shudders a breath a moment later, his heart pounding.

"Well, you and me both, really," he says, trying for a laugh, trying for lighthearted. Because, truthfully, he's never really done it this way either. There'd been novice, curious touches in the dark in his room at Hogwarts, touches that were never spoken of again. Everything since has been in dark, dank corners of pubs and taverns, fevered, rough hands and rougher kisses, every action easily tucked away and forgotten.

It's alarming, honestly, how much he likes it, the sight of another man's hand on his cock. Alarming how much he likes that it's Kieren's. He lifts his gaze, watching Kieren's face, and then lifts his hips, pressing into the movement of Kieren's hand. "D'you remember how you touched yourself? Back... before."

[roartonrisen]

Kieren tightens his grip, staring down and not even believing that this is really happening. Today's been so rife with unexpected surprises and this one, this simple touch of his hand wrapped around Sirius' cock is so much more than he could've ever anticipated. "Of course I remember," he promises, licking his lips as he starts to speed up a little, as if mimicking some of that old desperation. "I'd lie in the den and think about Rick after he'd left, just touching myself and pretending I was touching him."

"Like this," he says.

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren's hand begins to move with purpose and Sirius gasps softly, head tipping back as he sinks into the sensation, hips rolling upward, trying to find the rhythm.

Lifting his head again, he watches Kieren, eyes drifting from his have to his hand and back again as the muscles in Sirius's abdomen start to wind tight. "Little different from doing it to yourself, yeah?" he says, already a little breathless. "Different angle and all that. Merlin that feels good."

[roartonrisen]

Kieren knows in this exact moment that it'll be enough, because he doesn't need to feel it himself so long as he can watch Sirius take such pleasure from his touches, from his hand. "It's wonderful," he agrees, in awe that he can do something so amazing and incredible. He presses in closer, his hand as steady as ever and he leans in to kiss the words off Sirius' mouth. "Shh," he teases.