some spell work

[thebloodtraitor]

It had taken Sirius the better part of two days before he'd finally found a pair of cuffs tucked into the postbox of an abandoned house. It's fuzzy and pink, as promised, and Sirius holds them like a prize as a woman eyes him suspiciously and pointedly crosses the street.

After tucking the cuffs inside his jacket, Sirius heads to Dimera. There's no guarantee Kieren will be in, but it's not as though Sirius has much else to occupy his time.

He can't quite keep the grin off his face as he taps his knuckles to Kieren's door. It's the first he's been here, though Kieren had given him the address weeks ago. There's a bit of a knot in his stomach as he waits, a mix of excitement and anticipation as well as fear. Or perhaps fear isn't the right word, but Sirius isn't certain how else to describe it.

When he hears the turn of the knob, Sirius props his arm against the door jamb and quickly pulls the cuffs from his jacket with his other hand, grinning proudly as they dangle from his finger.

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[thebloodtraitor]

"I wish it didn't have to be only a memory," Sirius replies, selfishly brushing his lips to Kieren's before pulling back once more, but only enough to meet his eyes.

He considers for a moment, taking in Kieren's unsettled features, the furrow of his brow and curve of his lips before adding, "There are a number of other wizards here, I've found. Different sorts of magic. I can see if there's something else we might try. If you give your blessing, of course."

[roartonrisen]

Kieren's gaze slides to Sirius' lips before he closes them and lets himself indulge in the kiss, but it doesn't feel like it had before. It's back to being a pressure and not much else. He gives Sirius a worried look, still remembering that heavy pressure and the three thumps against his chest, but it had felt so good.

"I feel like any magical cure is too good to be true," he murmurs. "But you're right. There's a lot going on. And I shouldn't just give up," he admits. "So yeah. Let's try one more time."

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren is certainly hesitant, but Sirius doesn't blame him in the slightest. If anything, he's both surprised and relieved that Kieren's open to the idea at all.

"Once more," he agrees, brushing his nose lightly against Kieren's and giving him a small smile. "I'll make some inquiries. And if there isn't anything or whatever we find doesn't work, well... we'll find a way. I may feel terribly selfish the entire time, but perhaps we'll simply have to get creative."

[roartonrisen]

"It's fine, so long as you're fine," Kieren says, rubbing his palm up and down Sirius' chest. "I still want this," he admits, even if he's half-shaking with the worry of what just happened to him. "Trust me, I still want you," he exhales, eyes roaming over his body. "It was so nice."

[thebloodtraitor]

"You did make the most astonishing little sounds," Sirius tells him, pressing lightly against Kieren's palms, his own skin still overly warm compared to Kieren's. His lips curl in a coy grin as he breathes lightly against Kieren's lips. "I'd love to hear them again someday."

In truth, there's a multitude of what Sirius would love, but the highest on the list is enabling Kieren to feel, that his touch might incite the sort of sensation Sirius has been selfishly soaking up for weeks.

[roartonrisen]

"Me too," Kieren murmurs, trailing off so he can indulge in a proper kiss, closing his eyes slowly to let himself fall into that kiss with Sirius, sighing with soft happiness. "Want to get up? Maybe while I wash up, you can grab some tea?"

"It's still ready for you, in there. Bit cold by now," he admits.

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren opens to the kiss beautifully and Sirius lets out a quiet sound of his own, floating a bit as he eventually pulls away.

"Mmm," he says as he forces himself to his feet, standing a bit wobbly before holding his hand out to help Kieren up as well. "Cold tea is a small price to pay, I'd say," he replies, leaning in quick for one more kiss before wandering into the kitchen.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren takes the hand and stays in the same place for a long moment, trying to get his bearings before he walks. He feels shaky, yet, like a newborn colt, but follows after Sirius. "I could fry up something, too?" He's kept food in case of visits, and he needs to make some of it up before it goes off.

[thebloodtraitor]

"You have food?" Sirius replies, glancing back over his shoulder at Kieren with an arched brow. Kieren has mentioned before how he'd pantomimed with his family, how it had made them feel better. He can't imagine why Kieren would do such a thing on his own.

The tea, as expected, is certainly cool, but Sirius only shrugs before taking a sip as he rests a hip against the counter. "Oh, for guest, I'm assuming?" he replies then, holding his cup with two hands, his smile slowly stretching into a grin. "Do I count. Ooh, will I be an overnight guest?"

[roartonrisen]

"If you want to be, you can be," Kieren says, because he's never spent the night with anyone, but he can't imagine it would be a bad thing. He digs out a packet of the eggs and holds them up. "And yeah, it's for guests, like you or other people. Do you want fried eggs or not?" He might not be able to eat, but he hasn't lost the ability to cook.

[thebloodtraitor]

In truth, Sirius had only been taking the piss, but Kieren's response is so nonchalant as to give him pause.

His gaze drifts to the eggs and he finally gives a nod with a quick laugh. "I'll take some," he says before cocking his head to the side, his grin widening. "And toast? And it won't bother you if I eat in front of you?"

[roartonrisen]

"It's not like I have an appetite," Kieren points out as he digs out the frying pan and some bread, setting it all up before wetting some paper towels to drag over his face, taking off residual cover up from yesterday and dabbing at the black blood that had come from his nose. "Besides, it means you'll stay longer, doesn't it? I'm all for that."

[thebloodtraitor]

"Yes, but it's a bit like flaunting, isn't it?" he says, watching as Kieren wipes at his face, clearing off patches of bronze mousse and dabbing under his nose.

Setting aside his cold tea, Sirius steps closer, reaching for the towel. "Here, you've missed a spot," he says quietly before using the towel to wipe at a smear at the bolt of Kieren's jaw. His gaze flickers for a moment at Kieren's rationalizing, a grin tugging at his lips. "There's no need to bribe me with food to get me to stay," he says, tone light. "Sexual favours will do just as well."

[roartonrisen]

Kieren stands very still so Sirius can wipe away the last little bit of the makeup and blood. "I thought I'd lead with the fry and we'd move on to the groping after," he says, not feeling very shy about that. "I mean, this is technically our second date. And it's not like my Mum's around to yell at me for being forward if I get my hand down your trousers."

[thebloodtraitor]

It's a surprisingly blunt response, and not at all what Sirius is expecting.

"Is that in the plan then?" he asks, fighting a grin as he drops the dirtied towel in the bin and then immediately turns to wrap his arms around Kieren from behind, resting his chin lightly atop Kieren's shoulder as he cooks. "Your hand in my trousers, I mean. Because I am very much on board, if that's the case."

[roartonrisen]

He jumps, just a little, when Sirius comes at him from behind only because he's so focused on the sizzling that he barely even hears it. Still, the spatula swatted against Sirius' thigh is a playful thing and he turns his head into the body behind him with a adoring grin. "You may have to ask very politely," he mock-warns.

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren reacts quickly, a quick swat of the spatula landing against Sirius's thigh, though it does absolutely nothing to move him. In fact, if anything, Sirius only tightens his hold around Kieren's middle, his grin widening.

"Oh, well, in that case," he says, turning his head to nip lightly at Kieren's ear before once again remembering he can't feel it. So instead he brushes his lips to that same spot and lowers his voice to a purr. "Please, Kieren Walker, would you stick your hand down my trousers?"

[roartonrisen]

That voice is practically an invitation for sin and suffering and other s-words that he's sure Sirius must have done pat (like seductive and smooth) and he swallows hard before prying the spatula back to flip and fry, popping the bread into the toaster. "Well, since you asked very, very nicely, I suppose we could make some time for it," he vows.

"On my couch, maybe, after you eat?" It'd be nice to have a good memory to supplant the panic from earlier.

[thebloodtraitor]

Sirius doesn't miss the way Kieren briefly falters, nor the dip and rise of his Adam's apple when he swallows. Grinning still, he only hums for a moment, enjoying the heat already building low in his belly merely at the promise in Kieren's words.

"You suppose," he says with a huff of a laugh, once again resting his head on Kieren's shoulder once he returns to the eggs. "Well, I wouldn't want to be any trouble. I'm quite capable of putting my own hand down my trousers, after all. And yours for that matter," he adds, slowly sliding a hand down Kieren's belly.

[roartonrisen]

"Um." It's not meant to be hesitant, more a quiet reminder that there are certain reactions that won't be present, no matter how talented those fingers are. He still shifts back into that warm press of heat. He still wants this, but he also knows he might be a little disappointing when it gets down to it.

Offering out the little plate of egg and nodding to the toast, he turns and sets the spatula aside, licking his lips as he lets his gaze flick over Sirius' face. "I promise, it's really, really no trouble," he guarantees, voice low.

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren shifts slightly, pressing back against Sirius's chest and away from his hand. The action catches briefly, pulling Sirius's lips into a frown as he realizes exactly why.

But then Kieren's offering him a plate of toast and eggs, tongue flicking out to lick his lips as he meets Sirius's eyes. Despite his body's reactions -- or, lack of them as the case may be -- Kieren does still seem interested, at least if Sirius is to go by that hungry look and the utterly delicious pitch of his voice.

Still, there's a bit of unease in Sirius's belly as he takes the plate and heads back into the other room. He bites into the toast, barely bothering to chew before he asks, "Do you get any pleasure at all, then? If all you feel is a pressure, is it... how can you want sex at all?" It's a rather bold question, he'll admit. It's a question he'd have had no trouble asking James, or even Remus if just to make him flustered. It's easier to ask if he doesn't let himself think too much about how invested he is in Kieren's response. "Do you want sex?"

[roartonrisen]

"Because my brain still works," Kieren protests, giving Sirius a look that's chiding and disbelieving all at once. "I'm physically eighteen years old and I'm a virgin. Of course I want sex," he protests, shaking his head as he wonders what he'll have to do to prove it. "Just because my blood won't let me get it up doesn't mean I don't want it. I still want you, I still want it, I just can't receive, exactly."

"My brain lets me want things, lets me feel things like affection and guilt and remorse. I just can't physically feel," he says quietly.

[thebloodtraitor]

There's a certain note of upset to Kieren's tone and Sirius listens intently as he cuts off a bit of egg and scoops it up with his toast. He still feels a bit strange eating in front of Kieren, but he supposes he'll need to get accustomed to that eventually. As well as other things.

"Is it not frustrating?" he asks, as concerned as he is curious now. "If there's no level of sensation at all, do you think there might be a way of satisfying your brain, so to speak. By use of words, perhaps," he says, grinning a little then and waggling an eyebrow. "If you get my meaning."

[roartonrisen]

He stares down at his feet as he shuffles them, having thought about this plenty himself. "I suppose it wouldn't necessarily be a physical sort of relief, but more emotional. The pleasure of knowing my crush wants me back and all the anticipation and joy that goes into that moment."

He gives Sirius a longing look. "So if you don't want the serious stuff, no pun intended, maybe it's time to back out now."

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren's tone is no longer teasing and Sirius's smile falls in turn. "Well, I am quite good with the Sirius stuff," he says, trying for a joke though it falls flat given his lack of smile. He glances down at his eggs. "As for the other, well... it's certainly not that I don't want you. Perhaps I just feel ill-equipped? That seems like a poor excuse, I realize," he adds with a slight grimace, growing less hungry by the second.

"In truth, I've no idea what it is I think I'm doing," he admits, setting his plate aside, though he keeps the toast if only for something to rip at, setting another bite into his mouth. "It's not as though I'm some beacon of romance, I only know I like being around you."