some spell work

[thebloodtraitor]

It had taken Sirius the better part of two days before he'd finally found a pair of cuffs tucked into the postbox of an abandoned house. It's fuzzy and pink, as promised, and Sirius holds them like a prize as a woman eyes him suspiciously and pointedly crosses the street.

After tucking the cuffs inside his jacket, Sirius heads to Dimera. There's no guarantee Kieren will be in, but it's not as though Sirius has much else to occupy his time.

He can't quite keep the grin off his face as he taps his knuckles to Kieren's door. It's the first he's been here, though Kieren had given him the address weeks ago. There's a bit of a knot in his stomach as he waits, a mix of excitement and anticipation as well as fear. Or perhaps fear isn't the right word, but Sirius isn't certain how else to describe it.

When he hears the turn of the knob, Sirius props his arm against the door jamb and quickly pulls the cuffs from his jacket with his other hand, grinning proudly as they dangle from his finger.

Comments

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren leans in close and, tentatively, Sirius rests his hands on Kieren's sides, almost afraid his touch might further frighten him.

"You could've said," he says, almost a plea himself before he shakes his head. Guilt is still twisting in his belly, his heart mixed in the mess. He feels stupid in a way he hasn't quite managed in a few years. "I didn't realize, I was only trying for some fun. I can return them now if you'd like. I remember exactly where I found them."

[roartonrisen]

"I thought you were just returning them to me and we'd have a laugh," he admits, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Sirius' before he tangles his fingers in his hair. "We can put them back later," he promises. "I'm okay," he promises. "I'm fine now that you've taken them off. Really."

[thebloodtraitor]

"Yes, well, that was part of the laugh," Sirius says weakly, though he's calmed somewhat by the feel of Kieren's hands in his hair and the fact that he's still pressed close, isn't yelling at Sirius to leave or calling him the git Sirius knows quite well that he is.

He forces himself to take a breath, smoothing his hands gently up Kieren's sides, more for his own comfort than that of the boy who can't even feel it. "I'm sorry," he admits, a whisper this time. "I won't do it again. I'd know idea it would upset you. You can lock me up if it'll make you feel better. Or thwack me about a bit."

[roartonrisen]

"I don't want to lock you up," Kieren protests, because he doesn't think anyone would have much of a fun time in the midst of that. "Can we maybe just start over?" he suggests. "You can come to my door and I'll get excited to see you and try not to make it look like I'm too into it. And then you can come see all the embarrassing portraits I've done and I'll let you sit down before asking if you want tea..."

He offers a small, hopeful smile. "Sound good?"

[thebloodtraitor]

"Do you really have tea?" Sirius replies, partially in surprise but also in genuine interest. He wouldn't have expected Kieren to keep something around he couldn't particularly enjoy. Then again, maybe there's a comfort in it, too. Something familiar even if it's not quite the same.

The coil of guilt within him has unraveled slightly and he takes another breath before his smile curves into something tentatively flirtatious. "Let's skip the door bit and get straight to the embarrassing portraits," he says, dropping his hands from Kieren's sides to take his hands instead as he peeks past Kieren's shoulder. "You don't have any nudes, do you?"

[roartonrisen]

"My parents really liked the pantomime thing and I guess I do it sometimes if I want to feel ... normal," Kieren confesses, even though he doesn't think he's ever been normal, even before he went and killed himself and came back from the dead. He squeezes Sirius' hand before he heads to the kitchen to root through the cupboards. "I haven't seen you naked, now have I?" he points out over his shoulder. "Not like I've got a frame of reference to draw from."

[thebloodtraitor]

Despite Kieren's explanation, it still strikes Sirius as odd. However, at the moment, it's an odd that is very much in his favour, and he follows Kieren into the kitchen, leaning against a counter as he watches Kieren riffle through the cupboards.

"That can be changed," he says, still with that same grin. Though he is largely teasing, it's only to attempt to give Kieren that impulse to blush once more and not because Sirius would in any way be shy about going starkers. After seven years spent sharing a room with three other boys, not to mention the necessary nudity inherent in transfiguring, Sirius has long lost any modesty he might have once possessed. "I just thought you might use a bit of imagination is all. You are an artist. Do you not draw what you'd like to see? Or am I being presumptuous?" he says, the grin on his face hiding a sudden clench of uncertainty deep in his gut.

[roartonrisen]

Sirius is being very, very tempting and Kieren does want. He wants to see Sirius stripped down to nothing, only he hasn't been very sure how fast you're supposed to go. "And here I thought I should make you a cuppa before I asked to see you naked," he says, not entirely joking. He bites his lip as he lets his eyes roam. "Trust me, I've thought about it more than I can say, but I didn't think I should be presumptuous. But, if you're telling me," he says, as he puts the kettle on, "that you want to get naked."

"I don't want to stop you," Kieren admits, feeling panicky and wonderful at once.

[thebloodtraitor]

There is an obvious undercurrent of uncertainty in Kieren's tone and, for a moment, Sirius is torn between pressing on it and backing off. His instinct, as always, is to press, to goad until Kieren either laughs and not-blushes or snaps in irritation.

It wouldn't take much to make Remus snap but, as Sirius has to remind himself often, Kieren isn't Remus.

"Well, in that case," he says, shrugging out of his jacket, his eyes on Kieren as though challenging him to stay true to his word. He hangs the jacket off the back of a chair, lips twitched into a grin before he reaches back over his head to tug his shirt off next, brushing his hair from his face as he stands bare-chested in the middle of Kieren's kitchen.

[roartonrisen]

He wanders closer, a greedy look in his eye when the shirt comes off, that look turning to sparked interest and then swiftly to hope. "If I touch you, I'm not going to feel it, but you are." He raises his brows and feels a little dirty, even if he isn't keeping this a secret from anyone. "Except, I still really want to touch you."

[thebloodtraitor]

If he's honest, Sirius is excepting Kieren to laugh or roll his eyes, to tell Sirius to stop acting like a prat and put his bloody shirt back on. Instead, Kieren's gaze goes a little hungry and he steps away from the kettle to wander closer.

Sirius's teasing smile slips a little as a tendril of heat slips down his spine. His eyes drop to Kieren's hand and back up again as he balls his shirt into a ball and tosses it on the table behind him. "You're not expecting me to tell you not to touch, are you?" Sirius asks, trying for another tease. "Because it's quite unlikely."

[roartonrisen]

"It'll be cold," Kieren teases, even though he's already there, his hands firmly on Sirius' waist before they slowly ascend upwards, feeling out the angles and planes before him. He licks his lips, knowing he's never done this before, but it's something so new and exciting, he only wishes he could feel it.

"I hope you didn't want that tea too much," he says, nodding to the sofa.

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren's hands fall to Sirius's waist and skim up his sides, but it isn't the cold that makes Sirius shiver, his lips parting on a quiet gasp that soon melts into a laugh. His gaze lands on Kieren's lips long enough to se the flash of tongue.

"Fuck, the tea," he says with a quick laugh as he cradles Kieren's face in his hands and presses in for a kiss, shuddering another breath against cool lips as he guides Kieren back into the parlor, toward the sofa. It's an awkward walk, clumsy in its haste and Sirius laughs against Kieren's mouth, the sound swiftly melting into another soft moan as Kieren's hands smooth over his bare skin.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren's glad to hear it, wrapping his arm around Sirius' bare waist so he can walk back with him towards the sofa. He might not be able to feel any of this, but there's something in the air that he can sort of anticipate and pretend. It's like miming, really. He kisses Sirius a little harder, giving a soft sound of pleasure when he hears Sirius', like he's able to at least feed off that pleasure.

"It's very good tea," he teases, right against Sirius' lips. "You're sure you don't want any?"

[thebloodtraitor]

"Very, very sure," Sirius replies, words muffled against Kieren's lips before he drops to the sofa, pulling Kieren with him, body twisted so he can keep kissing. His fingers skim along Kieren's neck, selfishly touching though he knows Kieren can't feel it and continuing to murmur. "Absolutely positive, in fact. Never been less interested in bloody tea."

He's grinning then, his hand dropping to the front of Kieren's shirt, tugging ineffectually, tasting into Kieren's mouth, cool and wet and Merlin, he does wish Kieren could feel even a bit of this.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren lets out an 'oomph' as he goes, dragged down happily by gravity and Sirius both, grinning as he leans into the affection, cupping Sirius' face with both palms to try and frame him there and control it, just to get a little bit more. "I'm glad I rate above the tea," he mumbles with joy.

[thebloodtraitor]

"indubitably," Sirius assures him, still grinning with every kiss, one hand sliding down Kieren's side to pull his shirt up further, high enough to get his fingers on cold, bare skin. Though Sirius's experience may be greatly limited in some respects, this isn't one of them. But touching Kieren is an experience unlike any he's had before, the body doubtlessly alive beneath his fingers though there's no immediately reaction to his touch and, of course, no warmth.

Sirius's teeth tug lightly at Kieren's bottom lip before he breathes into another kiss. Whispers, "Have you thought more of that spell?" as his hand smooths inward across Kieren's stomach.

[roartonrisen]

Kieren pants a little as he cranes his head backwards and lets out a bark of a delighted laugh, feeling like this is probably the best time, if any. There's a pair of handcuffs, they're in private, and Sirius is already half naked. He eases back so he can properly look at Sirius. "I have," he admits, a little nervous, but still confident to say what he does next. "I think we should do it."

[thebloodtraitor]

Kieren's laugh is sudden enough that, for just a moment, Sirius feels a spike of worry that he's perhaps pushed too far. But Kieren's smile is quiet and genuine when Sirius pulls back to meet his eyes and there's a surety there when he speaks again. Perhaps a certain amount of nerves, as well, but Kieren's tone is even, even hopeful.

"Really?" Sirius replies, completely incapable of keeping the excitement from his own tone. His hand tightens on Kieren's side briefly. "You're certain? I promise it won't hurt and I'll be able to end it immediately if it makes you at all uncomfortable." It's nothing Sirius hasn't already assured him, but it feels necessary to repeat the words now when it appears it may, very soon, become more than a hypothetical.

[roartonrisen]

"I mean, all the things I wanted to be sure of are happening here," he says, staring around the room and then back at Sirius. "And it's been so long since I've felt anything, there's no harm in trying." After all, if it doesn't work, he'll just stay in the same condition as always, but if it has even the slightest chance of helping him, Kieren might get to feel again, even if only briefly.

"How does this work?"

[thebloodtraitor]

"What is it you needed to be sure of?" Sirius replies even as he gets to his feet and wanders over to where his jacket is still hooked over the back of a chair. He takes a moment to slip out of his boots and then fishes his wand out from his jacket before returning to stand before Kieren.

"It's just a spell," he says, holding his wand between two hands. "It's meant to enhance senses that already exist, but I think it may work to give you them at all. It won't effect your ability to eat or drink, I'm afraid, but if it works, you'll be able to taste a drop of tea in your mouth even if you can't swallow it."

[roartonrisen]

"I wanted a locked door and no one else around," he says, because if this does go badly, he's going to feel immensely guilty, but Sirius promises that he can turn it off as quickly as it's on and he trusts that, completely. He breathes in to try and calm his nerves, but despite not feeling anything physically, he's never been able to turn off his emotions. "So if you touch me, I'd feel it," he says, focusing on the important part.

"When we kiss, I'd feel something."

[thebloodtraitor]

"Ideally," Sirius replies, trying to stifle the way his stomach flips at so innocent a question. It is, after all, almost his entire motivation for the spell, for Kieren to feel when they touch, feel it as Sirius does.

He can't deny the bundle of nerves making itself known in his gut as he takes a seat beside Kieren once again, wand held carefully in his right hand. "It isn't exactly on a dial, I'm afraid," he admits, stretching his other arm around Kieren's shoulders. "It's either on or it's off. But, as I said, I can turn it off quick as anything. If it's too much, you only need say a word."

Taking a quick, shuddery breath, Sirius keeps his eyes on Kieren, searching. "Shall I try it, then?"

[roartonrisen]

He's terrified, but he's also so desperate to feel something again even if the possibility of it being bad is also in there. The thing is, he really can't imagine going the rest of eternity at this age, in this state, and not getting to feel. Sirius is offering him a chance to do something about it. So why not?

"I'm ready," he confirms, sitting up and balling up his fists so he can try and control his body in preparation for, well, anything.

[thebloodtraitor]

Sirius hasn't once doubted Kieren's courage, but he's reminded of it once more as Kieren sits up straight and takes a breath, preparing himself for the unknown. Undead or otherwise, Kieren is a Muggle, facing and accepting magic is no small feat for him.

Which, of course, means Sirius must be careful.

So he sits up when Kieren does, resting a hand lightly on his shoulder before whispering the incantation quietly and giving a quick flick of his wand.

"Alright?" he asks a moment later, watching Kieren intently, anxious to know if it's worked.